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Joke of the Day
"ME: Do ghosts wear condoms DENTIST: How are you still awake"
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"The internet is amazing in its ability to speed up communication, for instance it used to take years to realize you hated your friends."
"What is Beethoven doing right now? Decomposing"
"[sign outside butcher shop: POLISH SAUSAGES - ASK US] ME: Yes, I'm here about the sausage polishing job?"
"If I was a doctor I would scare my patients by pretending to go check google every time they asked me a question"
"""What rhymes with California?"" -Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song writing session ever"
"Have you heard about the new advanced ABS system developed by an Israeli company? Allows any vehicle equipped with it to stop on a dime."
"I think my wife came from Ikea Cause she came with extra parts that I didn't know about"
"From a Friend's 10-Year-Old Daughter Why did Adelle cross the road? To say hello from the other side!"
"We won't know we've truly made it as a society until computers in movies stop making beeping noises"