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Joke of the Day

"The agony of dyslexia I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend last night. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him: ""You idiot!"" ""You're supposed to turn your clock back!"

"My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60... Now hes 97 years old and we have no idea where he is..."

"My doctor told me not to eat anything fatty... ...my wife is going to be disappointed."

"What's it called when you remember a good meme? A Memento"

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, ""Awesome, now we're both barking."""

"I bet the passengers on the missing Malaysian airplane are racking up some serious reward miles, given all of the different directions they've been flying."

"How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear? Color coded: ""Yellow in front, brown in the back"""

"""let's put computers and keyboards in our cars. now let's go catch all the people typing on tiny keyboards in their cars"" - cops"

"Why was the Taiwanese business man so stressed out? Because he had a Taipei personality."

"If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"