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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60... Now hes 97 years old and we have no idea where he is..."

"""The Godfather"" teaches us that: 1. Nothing is more important than family and 2. Our families are always trying to kill us."

"Man, this one always cracks me up... ...you know, the No. 17 one."

"Man goes to the Doctor Doctor, my dick is shaped like a rocket. Well, I bet your wife is over the moon about it."

"I'm just a girl, standing in my kitchen, forgetting what I came in here for."

"Did such a great job cutting down a tree yesterday The neighbours clapped as I took a bough"

"There were two snowmen standing in a field, one says to the other... Can you smell Carrots?"

"What did Einstein say when he was pulled over for speeding? ""Speed is relative, officer."""

"how do you tell the difference between an extroverted engineer and an introverted engineer? the extroverted engineer looks at *your* shoes."

"I tried to catch fog yesterday Mist"