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Joke of the Day
"My doctor told me not to eat anything fatty... ...my wife is going to be disappointed."
Next Joke
"If you are attacked by a group of clowns... Go for the Juggler."
"If there is earth on planet Earth, why aren't there Jews on Jupiter? Because it's a gas planet."
"How is Kim Kardashian's ass like a password-protected compressed file? They both have their own zip code"
"Before you judge a person make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of shit? The bag."
"Must have been a tough childhood for the Redskins quarterback... Growing up knowing your parents are Cousins."
"What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically? Tsar-Chasm"
"What is the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist? A catholic will say ""hello"" to you in the liquor store."
"*Wife thumps door* ""I KNOW UR IN THERE! U BLEW OUR SAVINGS ON A SHITTY INVENTION, DIDN'T U?!"" NO! *furiously flushes 1000s of dog-tampons*"