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Joke of the Day

"""let's put computers and keyboards in our cars. now let's go catch all the people typing on tiny keyboards in their cars"" - cops"

"My gf got into a car accident today... I take public transportation so I don't also get rear ended by strangers."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you stole daddys car! Why you steal daddys car?! (chappie joke I stole from youtube)"

"Yesterday, I lost a wedding cake.. ..but today, I fondant."

"How does Frodo make his own food? Through Frodosynthesis"

"When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order."

"What do you do when you see a Flock of Seagulls? You run. You run so far away."

"[WOLF CUB] Dad, why do we howl at the moon? [WOLF DAD] Well son, the moon is made of cheese and that's rad as hell"

"What do you call a black man in a stunt plane? The brown streak."

"Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one."