34517

Joke of the Day

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, ""Awesome, now we're both barking."""

Next Joke
 
"What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November."
"I would love to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle... But I can't afford all the shirts."
"If I were to steal an experiment from a microbiology lab... ...would it be cultural appropriation?"
"[being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on"
"Your mom is like a shotgun. Two cocks and she's ready to blow."
"Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ? He took too long to put his boots on !"
"Shout out to those who can't hear good"
"I came up with an in-depth, comprehensive list of films that are just like real life"
"Thank you for calling ELVIS Direct Press 1 for the money 2 for the show"