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Joke of the Day

"A laptop made in the United States is a portable device. A laptop made in Mexico is a deportable device."

"You must be twins. You're too stupid to be one person. #MyBestInsult"

"[JOKE] Why did the guitar teacher get arrested? For fingering A minor."

"My moods don't just swing - they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette."

"Nobody ever sneezes in movies."

"Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees."

"How many antisocial guys does it take to change a flat tire? Fuck you!"

"What does a witch enjoy cooking most? Gnomelettes."

"Why does the swimming pool get laid every night? Because he makes all the ladies wet."

"I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them! to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on"