204525

Joke of the Day

"My moods don't just swing - they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette."

"Today I have learnt - if you try and give someone the finger whilst wearing mittens, you are basically just showing them your mittens."

"""Me llamo Pedro,"" said no Juan ever."

"Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops."

"What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear? Hearing AIDS"

"Will Apple ever release a product that lasts for more than a few years? iDoubtit"

"I've been drinking and trying to think of a great tweet for a few hours now and here it is: FARTS"

"Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25"

"Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper? C4."

"A coffee shop opened up inside a strip club Its name is ""Grinds for Divorce"""