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Joke of the Day

"What possible bit about trying to buy a large number of ice cream containers and two boxes of tampons says I want to chat you up, douchebag?"

"Why does the devil get such a bad rap? Because like everyone in marketing, he always lets his own stuff slide..."

"How do you see if the Ken doll is ticklish? Give him test tickles."

"Why are 9/11 jokes never funny? Because they always fly over everyone's head."

"What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower? Mint conditioner."

"I'd tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long."

"I think I'm going to sell my theremin I haven't touched it in ages..."

"A Hindu and Muslim together makes for a surprise equillibrium Muslim keep beheading the Hindu. The Hindu keeps reincarnating."

"What do a Professional Fifa Player and a Rapist have in common? They're both going to score, even if you don't want them to."

"Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out ""DEAR GOD MY BACK!"""