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Joke of the Day
"Why does the swimming pool get laid every night? Because he makes all the ladies wet."
Next Joke
"Instead of getting Xbox Live I just drive to the skate park & pay obnoxious teenagers $60 to call me gay."
"Daughter: Daddy, why do you have to go to work everyday? Me: Do you like clothes? Daughter: Not really Me: Shut up"
"Here's a bit of advice for you Advi"
"The best part of waking up is still mystery to me."
"After a year of anal only sex with my girlfriend... You never know what is gonna come through that hole"
"""What you don't know won't hurt you."" Oh, yeah good logic. Unless what I ""don't know"" about is the man waiting for me in the parking lot."
"Q: What kind of pizza do pilots like? A: Plain."
"Who is ISIL's favorite Star Wars character? ADMIRAL ACKBAR! ADMIRAL ACKBAR! ADMIRAL ACKBAR!"
"The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use."