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Joke of the Day
"Life is like huffing butane... first you huff the butane, then you die"
Next Joke
"[1st day at Subway] Boss: u said u'd done this before Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I'm really more of an abstract sandwich artist"
"I told my dad that I wanted to be a comedian He said to me, ""You can't be serious."""
"My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other."
"How much space is left in EU? 1 GB"
"A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" He answers, ""because I'm an alcoholic and I'm destroying my family."""
"Body: All done? Brain: All done. Body: goodnight Brain: goodnight Body: Brain: Brain: Flintstone tiptoed a lot for a big dude"
"Server friend was complaining about her pay at local restaurant Server friend was complaining about her job at local restaurant. So I say, ""Don't worry. Good things come those who wait."""
"I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago."
"Tits are like Golf You just play the course you're on."