170310

Joke of the Day

"Server friend was complaining about her pay at local restaurant Server friend was complaining about her job at local restaurant. So I say, ""Don't worry. Good things come those who wait."""

"Had a trip to the Docs I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""

"*Eats a snack while making a snack*"

"don't you just hate it when a zombie breaks into your home and starts doing their ironing right in front of the TV"

"By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with."

"The most reliable bridge builders in all of Mexico. Spic and Span"

"What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair? Cancer"

"Why Was Tigger looking in the toilet?? ... He was looking for Pooh!"

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? Because it's two tired. Edit: added ""because""."

"I recently won a punctuation competition. My prize was an apos-*trophy*."