92012

Joke of the Day

"Tits are like Golf You just play the course you're on."

"How did the Kentucky woman know her daughter was on her period? She tasted the blood on her son's penis."

"I don't like anti jokes... I like uncle jokes"

"If you don't think monkeys are adorable, then you can suck macaque."

"Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation."

"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""

"A man has been jailed for forging banknotes. He also got a big fine which he immediately paid in crisp $9 notes."

"What do you call a famous Internet pirate? Blackneckbeard."

"I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull"

"Sometimes when I'm puking I worry I might be pregnant then I remember I'm not Mary And that requires sex Then I laugh And keep puking"