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Joke of the Day

"My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other."

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"A priests asks the convicted murderer...... A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replies the murderer. ""Can you please hold my hand?"""
"What is the best kind of vegetable? The one in the wheelchair."
"I didnt just read it I Reddit"
"It was a good decision to remove all the mirrors from my car I haven't looked back since."
"I went to the doctor yesterday I told him my penis suddenly turned into a tiny green ball. He said I may have peacock syndrome."
"What is it called when two birds kiss? A Peck."
"Will Smith: ""Jaden, I want you to star in this 100 million dollar movie with me"" My Dad: ""Shut up and hold this flashlight Steve"""
"Police Officer and the Pothead Police Officer: ""How high are you?"" Pothead: ""No officer, it's ""Hi, How are you?"""
"Unless you have stellar reflexes, throwing a bouncy ball at your spouse during an argument is not the best choice."