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Joke of the Day

"Mom: Sorry, I won't be able to come in today. My son's got stuck in the washing machine. Boss: Aw okay. Poor thing, how old is he? Mom: 27"

"[Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird"

"What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that"

"[opens door for two Jehovah's witnesses] Ugh...ok come in. The goat blood is in a vial on the table. I'll get the virgin from the basement."

"Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy."

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwomen? - Snowballs :)"

"Have you heard the joke about the flying sandwich? Nope. Neither have I."

"2 hunters walk into a bar... ...That was the worst time to misinterpret the word 'duck'"

"A comedian committed suicide today... Took a knife straight to the jocular vein."

"The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan."