165720

Joke of the Day

"If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken."

"I got fired from my job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way."

"DRUGSTEP: christian parents worried about teenage son ""have you been smoking dubstep?"" ""mom what??"" ""DON'T LIE TO ME WHERE'S THE SKRILLEX"""

"Him: Hi Me: I bet you say that to all the girls"

"How does NASA organize parties? First they planet then the stars comet."

"My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today ""what poison would kill someone the fastest?"" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her."

"During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel."

"The Device Too Big To Fail I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, ""The Titanic is syncing."""

"A blind man.. Is walking down the street and stumbles upon a fish market With out skipping a beat he says ""good morning ladies!"" *proceeds to play colt 45*"

"What is the first thing that vampires learn at school? The alphabat."