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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you .... A husband asks his wife after sex ""Honey why don't you ever tell me when you are having an orgasm?"" She replies ""Well I would Dear but you are never home."""

"Soda joke Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired? They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system."

"[nsfw] I knew a girl who had a miscarriage while taking a shower It was the worst baby shower ever"

"My friend ran into a tree with his brand new car... He found out his Mercedes bends"

"How to know she's the one? Jerk off twice and if you still wanna jerk off, then She is."

"If my 6 year old tells me someone was ""mean to him"" I never know if they stole his bike or tried to cook him a healthy meal."

"A man walks into a bar... ...and screams ""Ouch!"""

"What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can reason with the terrorist!"

"If Dwane Johnson were to actually run for President... He could only lose to paper."

"How many libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb has to pull itself up by the bootstraps and screw itself in"