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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly."

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up."

"The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week... Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges."

"My therapist asked me what I'd feel if I shot someone. ""Recoil"", I calmly answered."

"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck"

"Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says ""Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"" Biden replies ""No, Bush did 9:11."""

"I just bought a bidet The salesperson told me it'd clean the shit out of me!"

"How to make her squirt: make sure she is a lime"

"I was going to tell some rabbit jokes But people tend not to carrot all about them."

"My 4 year old thought it was pretty cool that Simba could do whatever he wanted after Mufasa died. This is concerning."