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Joke of the Day

"[I time travel to 1998] Guy: This is the first showing of Mulan, how does that dude in the front row already know the words to all the songs"

"What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it? A casket"

"What did papa butter say to troublesome son butter? You had *butter* behave now, alright son? I sure know you don't want to get *whipped*!"

"Boss: Are you high? Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?"

"There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma."

"When I was a kid growing up in the Cold War, I had nightmares about the Russians. They wrote long novels. And professors made me read them."

"Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter? Twitter only allows 160 characters"

"Whats the Diffrence Between Hitler and Usain Bolt? One can acctualy finish a race"

"Every day is a new day. For someone with Alzheimer's or Dementia."

"Did you hear about the guy who eating crackers in bed? He felt crumby the next day."