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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid growing up in the Cold War, I had nightmares about the Russians. They wrote long novels. And professors made me read them."

Next Joke
 
"I had sex with my teacher yesterday... God damn it feels good to be homeschooled."
"Obama: Who were you talking to before he came here for the meeting? Biden: Young Metro. Obama: Why did you call- Biden: Shhh. I got this."
"Have you heard about the recent abnormal growth in cancer clinics? There are tumor down the street."
"And then Satan said, ""save time ~ respond to her text with a K."""
"Dating tip: if you want a girl to hold you tight, start pushing her off a cliff."
"Best way to speed date: ""What's your favorite subreddit?"" ""What's a subreddit?"" ""Next."""
"What happens when a Jew runs into a wall with a boner? His nose breaks."
"I've been cheating on you guys. Lately, I've been spending my time on my job and real life. They don't mean anything to me, I swear."
"Do you know why the Little Mermaid wears seashells? Because A and B shells were too small"