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Joke of the Day

"[GOP debate] JOHN KASICH: my dad was a mailman so i understand our nation's struggles MODERATOR: what how JK: i went through everyone's mail"

"What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one"

"I love self-deprecating jokes. Too bad I suck at them."

"My friend Victor changed his last name to ""E"". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery."

"A young lady walks into a bar... She was protected by a rubber Bump*her*"

"""I've got chills. They're multiplying."" ""Sir, you're going into shock. Please stop narrating--"" ""And I'm losing control."" ""Sir!"""

"Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're.. Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me? HS: ..blocking the pickles."

"Pretty sure that Twitter is not one of the seven habits of highly effective people."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Israel? Hillary won't suck Bill's dick."

"We can talk about either delegates or blowjobs, but a Clinton will always get one or the other under the table."