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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a car flag for independence day, for only two dollars.. Now i just need to buy a car, and i am all set."

"Did you hear about the new LSU Visa card coming out? You get Les Miles and zero points"

"Einstein made a theory about space... It was about time too."

"Please Turn Off The Computer Dad's writes on son's facebook wall: Dear Son, how are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please turn off the computer and come down for dinner."

"If you see me running down the road crying, it's because I hate running."

"Best goldfish joke ever told Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""

"What happens when you put your grandma on speedial? You get Insta-Gram"

"Me: Hi, mom. I'm feeling tremendous guilt. Mom: Why? Me: Just thought I'd save you the effort."

"People who come up with these recommended serving sizes might just be the most deluded human beings on the planet."

"With a bit of practice I could be an excellent snooker player... But I dont have the balls and my pockets aren't that deep"