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Joke of the Day

"Best goldfish joke ever told Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""

"AudioPhiles be like .mp3, .wav, .flac"

"Did you hear about the casino croupier whose hand, through a tragic accident, was reduced to a stub? Don't worry, he's dealing with it."

"new instagram notification - Girl Who Actually Secretly Hates You Commented 'omg literally why are u so perfect'' On Your Photo!"

"Try this: In a crowded hallway, say out loud, ""Oh my god look at the blood on her pants."" Whatever girl turns around is on her period.."

"30 cows, 28 chicken. how many didn't? 10"

"If you rape a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting"

"Cow joke What's wrong with Bessie? She looks like she's in constant pain! She has mooootiple sclerosis"

"You can tuck a carrot into bed , but it won't know what you are doing because he's a carrot"

"Wiping with only one square of toilet paper is a meditative experience.... You really get in touch with your inner self."