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Joke of the Day
"Einstein made a theory about space... It was about time too."
Next Joke
"[OC] Gurl, do you want a pinworm infection? Cuz id like to stick something 1/4 of an inch and thin inside of your anus."
"What is a mountain climber's favorite drink? Anything on the rocks."
"I jerk off roughly once a day. I try to be a little more loving and gentle the other 2-3."
"I think I CAN wander the restaurant with my robe open and eat off of your plate, sir. This is Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family."
"What's the most important part about making a Pokemon joke? The Exeggution!"
"A little girl asked her father ""Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"" And he replied ""No there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"""
"Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri ""What do women want?"" She's been talking nonstop for the last two days now."
"Fist bumping high fives since 94'"
"Todays stats: My 3yr old got pissed off with me because I couldn't stop the wind."