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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an eight-ball of cocaine and a pre-pubescent boy? Eric Clapton wouldn't let an eight-ball of coke fall out a hotel window."

"What do you call a blond skeleton in the closet? The winner of hide and seek."

"""Honey, wouldn't you like to go back to the 60s?"" ""Of course not! I like today's technology too much."" ""But honey I'm talking about kilos you fat cow"""

"I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children."

"*two minor inconveniences happen at the same time* me: *needs to lie down for 3 days*"

"Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways. You get it."

"put the punch line in the title how do you piss off reddit?"

"TIFU by being a loner Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!"

"""Quinoa"" sounds like something a ninja would say before kicking you."

"What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits? Hobbitat for Humanity"