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Joke of the Day
"Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways. You get it."
Next Joke
"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? Milk and Surreal."
"Is a man more intelligent before, during or after sex? During. Because you're plugged into the know it all"
"[end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED."
"The school wants to test my kid for gifted but the program doesn't have ""my kid is gifted"" bumper stickers, so, like, what's the point?"
"For someone who said ""Correct me if I'm wrong..."" you seemed genuinely surprised and upset when I did."
"My favorite part of a marathon is... My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka."
"Saddest Joke if... Last person on Earth... Knock Knock.."
"""How much for the supermodel?"" *winks seductively ""Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."""
"Girl I like keeps putting me in the ""dad zone"" Good thing this weekend is Father's Day."