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Joke of the Day
"Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways. You get it."
Next Joke
"They take away old people's drivers licenses, but old people wreak much more death & destruction with their email forwards."
"How did the Roman feel when he cannibalized his nagging wife? Glad-he-ater"
"They said I should follow my dreams So I went back to sleep."
"If I had a time machine I would go back to certain conversations with my wife to see if she really said the things she's told me I forgot..."
"What kind of doctors are like spiders ? Spin doctors !"
"Guys, I just found a BUNCH of Mohicans!"
"What's the difference between oral and rectal thermometers? The taste."
"Growing up my mom told me... I could be anybody I wanted to. Turns out this is called identity theft."
"I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't.... the steaks were too high."