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Joke of the Day

"put the punch line in the title how do you piss off reddit?"

"I'm sick of tired of people soaking my floor with their wet umbrellas when they come over to visit. I think it's time to make a stand."

"Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese. That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi. I suspect Craig."

"Sorry kids, Santa isn't real. If he was, he'd be an obese pedophile, felon, and elf slave owner. Seriously though, Merry Christmas."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."

"I used to steal jokes. I still do, but I used to, too."

"What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas? As little as possible dummy!"

"Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!"

"An amputee found a cheap artificial arm for sale on Amazon... It was secondhand."

"Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son."