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Joke of the Day

"You know I'm glad there are women in the world... Otherwise life would be a pain in the ass."

"What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !"

"i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented i forgot where i was going with this"

"My neighbor poked my eyeball out so I asked for an iPhone 7 as a compensation An i for an eye as they say"

"Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now"

"What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use? Sprint"

"Ever since I got my antivirus check done on my computer. Single Asian ladies don't wanna do it with me anymore."

"*4yo son, crying* I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace? *sigh* Parenting is hard."

"Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!"

"If you google ""MySpace"" your computer will ask ""Are you fucking serious right now?"""