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Joke of the Day

"If you google ""MySpace"" your computer will ask ""Are you fucking serious right now?"""

"How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million? Walk in with $2 Million."

"I once met a prostitute that said she would do anything for $100 I said paint my house."

"""Morning sickness"" should also be used to describe the hatred of waking up in the morning. ""Sorry I was rude. I had morning sickness."""

"The time machine of tomorrow. Today."

"Girl, if you don't stop touching my crotch,... ...you might feel a small prick."

"A furniture-maker got caught by his wife coming in at 4am ""Damn it, Jesse! I will not let you ruin our marriage over one night stand!"""

"What do you call a redditor that doesn't use the search button in /r/jokes? A bastard. [Source](http://i.imgur.com/p16XxgE.jpg)"

"The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003."

"Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon ? Because he was dead !"