186195

Joke of the Day

"Ultracrepidarianism is the habit of giving opinions & advice on matters outside one's knowledge or competence. Or, as I call it, tweeting."

"Lazy people fact #4564321564 You were too lazy to read that number."

"Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house... the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%."

"STOP HONKING! IF I DRIVE ANY FASTER THE TINY LIZARD THAT HITCHED A RIDE ON MY HOOD IS GONNA FALL TO HIS DEATH. HAVE SOME COMPASSION, PEOPLE."

"Have you seen the new iPhone card trick? It's the one where all the jacks dissappear"

"*Hunts and Kills Winnie the Pooh *Hunts and Kills Pepe Le Pew *Cooks both in stew *Serves Pooh Pew Platter"

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? 1 less drunk"

"I gave a blind man 10$ He told me he'll pay me back the next time he sees me."

"What do you call a cat that torrents movies? A copy cat."

"Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach."