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Joke of the Day

"i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented i forgot where i was going with this"

"You know what the problem with biplanes is? You never know what direction they are going."

"A baker was killed by a falling metal pan... you could say his death was filled with irony. Ba-Dum-Tsss"

"I bet snowmen think it's weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin."

"Bad News: I'm back on Ambien. Good News: Side effects include the chance of hallucinations. Best News: Just ate lunch with Jesus."

"Why don't we elect fat presidents any more? Because they don't run."

"what's the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles, because there is a mile between each s."

"What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway? Through the windshield"

"I don't understand why people are in awe when I tell them my grandfather survived Auschwitz. Most of the other German officers did too!"

"Broke Last night, a burglar broke into my flat looking for some money. I woke up and went with him to join him in the search."