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Joke of the Day

"Men do not have multiple orgasms like women do because if they did they would never be able to get out of the fucking shower."

"Why is the Queen only 30cm Tall She is a Ruler..."

"Canada day isn't about cheap jokes, you guys. You're forgetting what the holiday is all aboot."

"There is nothing worse than running out of toilet paper and having to ask the guy in the next stall to wipe you."

"Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other."

"'gamer' & 'foodie' are bullshit labels because they suggest you are something b/c you passively enjoy something everyone passively enjoys"

"Dance like the picture's not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Tweet like no one's following."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite drink? A White Russian. I'm so sorry."

"A geneticist is having sex... During foreplay, the geneticist's partner kept moaning ""Aug, aug, AUG!"" The geneticist later proclaims, ""I don't know where to start!"""

"my car is dead & i saw a dead spider under the hood so like, do i need a new spider? i dont know a lot about how cars work"