75928

Joke of the Day

"Me: ugh. The radio these days is full of bad news. Burglary over there, stabbing over here. Just turn it off please Arresting officer: no"

"My girlfriend asked me how do i see lesbian relationships Apparently 'In HD' wasn't the right answer."

"Today is the coldest day of the year... And the warmest, shortest, longest, driest and most wet."

"What does a Jewish man attacking Pearl Harbour say? Torah! Torah! Torah!"

"Why do men get erections while they sleep? So they don't accidentally roll out of bed."

"I just got a DM from a guy who said he was a Day Trader. I offered him 3 Mondays for a Friday."

"The wife told her husband ""look at your neighbour everyday he kisses his wife before going to work, why don't you do the same ?"", he says "" I would, but would she accept ?"""

"Just realized why women love shoes over clothing, because no matter how much weight they gain, the shoes still fit."

"Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It's the ocean! That's where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!"

"What happens when a soviet and a german have a child? I don't know but he can conquer poland really fast."