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Joke of the Day

"Me: ugh. The radio these days is full of bad news. Burglary over there, stabbing over here. Just turn it off please Arresting officer: no"

"Why was the football stadium so cold? Because of all the fans."

"I asked the Nazi store for a discount They gave me 8 off."

"How do you kill a bear without a weapon? With your bare hands."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Asa ! Asa who ! Asa-int amongst men !"

"what's the difference between the government and the mafia? The Mafia is organized"

"We don't lose friends, we just learn who our real ones are."

"Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it's Wednesday."

"""Shotgun!"" I yell as I push past the others and climb into the seat. I am subsequently escorted from the airplane."

"I always felt suicidal.. because I'm hanging on by a thread"