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Joke of the Day

"""Look, I know I'm just a deep dish filled with dough, tomato sauce, and mozzarella cheese... But you should really reconnect with your father."" ""Hey! That's a little personal, pan pizza!"""

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay."

"What do you call a speeding vegetable? Michael Schumacher."

"So I went to the doctor's office today. He tells me I need to stop masturbating. I ask him why, is my heart to weak, or something? He says ""no, im trying to examine you.."

"Why didn't the pirate get into the movie? It was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"The great Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women For Chuck Norris, that's a Tuesday."

"What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song? Do You Hear what I Hear?"

"Dad: There's no use crying over spilled milk son. Me: But dad it was tequila! Dad: What!? *cries immensely*"

"A company testing on animals just got sued for testing a chapstick on horses that made their lips burn off. They called it neigh-balm."

"Q: How do Chinese people name their babies? A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make."