118867

Joke of the Day

"Dad: There's no use crying over spilled milk son. Me: But dad it was tequila! Dad: What!? *cries immensely*"

"I have the Quran on CD... People sure are getting upset when I said I burned it."

"What does the Army call it's Muslim infantry units with vehicles? Mecca-nized infantry."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter they don't have any power."

"a man (almost) worked at google A man went for a job interview at google. When he got the job, he got up and shouted ""YAHOO!"" the man was fired immediately."

"Noah: A boat? God: Yes. Noah: Two of every animal? God: Yes. Noah: I have a better idea. God: What. Noah: Maybe don't kill everyone."

"Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is ""Miracle on 34th Street."" Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is ""It's a Wonderful Life."" Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is ""Die Hard."""

"Mugger: Gimme yer wallet & don't do nuthin dumb Me: That's a double negative, my friend. Unlike Romance languages, English - hey, come back"

"It's hard to believe my teenage son hasn't got a job yet. I was sure his special skill of keeping it real' would impress any potential employers."

"THE HONEST LAWYER When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth? When his lips are shut."