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Joke of the Day

"The great Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women For Chuck Norris, that's a Tuesday."

"How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Toss him some sort of flotation device"

"My dad taught me you can't try rationalize with crazy... It was a self-taught lesson."

"Jimmy Kimmel should have Floyd Mayweather read mean tweets after the fight Oh wait"

"What did the salad say before being eaten Lettuce go."

"My dog is great at math. Really ? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! That's what he'll answer nothing!"

"If eye fucking is a thing, my husband probably has opthalmic herpes from Haley at the burrito store."

"I only came to this school reunion because one of you've got my Wu Tang tape."

"GF looking at lines in carpet: Aww, you vacuumed for me? Me: *flashback to me rollerblading in the living room* Sure did, babe."

"What does it taste like when you go down... What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady? Depends..."