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Joke of the Day

"The apostles fell asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane while Jesus was praying. Noticing that they fell asleep, Jesus woke up St. Peter. ""Huh? What? Oh, sorry, Lord, I forgot the coffee!"""

"I used to be opposed to organ transplant... But after having one done myself; I guess I've had a change of heart."

"Whenever someone is about to tell me about their day, I just cover my ears and yell ""SPOILER ALERT!"""

"If you don't consider yourself a terrible person, you're likely a horrific person."

"My friends keep telling me to stop making jokes about Linkin Park But I just ignore them because in the end, it doesn't even matter"

"Did you hear about the guy who got herpes in his eyebrows? He was looking for love in all the wrong places."

"Mary had a little lamb...... Best lamb chops I ever ate. SUCK IT VEGANS!"

"Polceman: ""I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night."" Man: ""What's the charge?"" Polceman: ""Oh there's no charge. It's all part of the service."

"A midget was escaping prison... A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me. I thought to myself, ""well that's a little condescending""."

"Nuts. Two peanuts went for a walk in the park,one was a salted."