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Joke of the Day

"A midget was escaping prison... A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me. I thought to myself, ""well that's a little condescending""."

"What is James Bonds code name when he is abroad? +4407"

"Liars make their bed and.... lie there too."

"""Mommy, what's a butterfly?"" ""When a girl loves many boys in a short time during college, she gets a tattoo reminder for her future husband"""

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"why do women not need to wear watches? there's a clock on the stove"

"A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it."

"Why was the snowman smiling? ...he saw a snowblower coming up the street."

"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."

"My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist."