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Joke of the Day

"Polceman: ""I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night."" Man: ""What's the charge?"" Polceman: ""Oh there's no charge. It's all part of the service."

"What is Hitler's phone number? 999-999-999"

"Today I am choosing to stay positive and kind to anyone I encounter today, except vampires."

"What's the difference between your mom and wine? With age, wine doesn't suck anymore."

"My doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia and ADHD. Which means I hear voices but not for long enough to drive me insane."

"A Joke without a joke is a big joke"

"Woman Goes Doctor Latvia Woman go to see doctor. Doctor shake head and say, ""Six more days life then die."" Woman is feel sad. Woman asks, ""Is no thing I can take?"" Doctor say, ""Food."""

"My girlfriend says I treat her like an object.. I don't know why it keeps saying that."

"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk."