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Joke of the Day

"Polceman: ""I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night."" Man: ""What's the charge?"" Polceman: ""Oh there's no charge. It's all part of the service."

"What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died? His korea is over!"

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and brass balls? Sparky"

"what is the hardest part of eating a veggtable. might be offensive. THE WHEEL CHAIR!"

"Tomorrow I am going to open the time capsule I buried as a kid. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got"

"truth is, nobody can parkour better than squirrels.. nobody"

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject... These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"If someone walks in on you hatching your evil plan, just tell them you were rubbing in some hand moisturizer."

"Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand."

"My dog just got into a bottle of Tums She is now a basic bitch."