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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I went down on your moms sister at your BBQ... I guess you could say I'm... [lowers shades] An aunt-eater."

"Why doesn't Spiderman like rice? It reminds him of Uncle Ben."

"Hi, my name is Kate. I am 12 and I am still a virgin... does that mean my dad is gay?"

"Heard Santa and his wife separated, which would make them independent Clauses."

"What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues"

"Her: Hey, what does this dress say to you? *Whirls Around* Me: I'm not in the mood to listen to your clothes right now, I'm drinking!!"

"A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere"

"Been reading about instinctive behaviors. Apparently, my natural reaction to seeing an attractive woman is a Fixed Action Pattern (in short, FAP)."

"It's been a while since I partied... Yeah, I can't even remember the last time I blacked out."

"Q: What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow? A: Spoiled Milk."