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Joke of the Day
"I've recently obtained a book on the guidelines of masturbation So far, I've stuck to it."
Next Joke
"Hey Reddit, what are your favorite lame jokes? ""Wanna hear a pizza joke?"" ""Nevermind, it's too cheesy."""
"Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep? Their cicadan rhythm is off"
"JUDGE: I may send u to jail. But if u act less condescending, I'll let u go free ME [waving goodbye to my family] u mean condescendingLY"
"There's a spider on my calculator. Must be an arachnerd."
"Even better than breakfast cereal: Lunch cereal and dinner cereal."
"What do you call a red-headed ninja? A ginja... Ensue mildly dramatic slow clapping."
"Mom: What are you hiding in there? -nuthin [Vin Diesel noises from closet] M: Is Vin Diesel in there? -...yes Vin Diesel: [from closet] No."
"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."
"Hit a cop car last night. The driver let me off with a warning..... ""Anything you say can and will be used against you."""