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Joke of the Day

"Rule number one of the English language: The use of double negatives is a big no-no"

"Don't bother using those white packets of seasoning inside new shoes, they taste terrible."

"bicycle cop: im taking you to jail me [sarcastic voice]: should i ride on your pegs or walk next to you [segway cop just dying laughing]"

"I have my own private jet But my mum owns the rest of the jacuzzi."

"redneck incest paradox Apparently, there are guys down in Alabama, there, who are their own fathers!!! (I can say this, safely, because I live in TN. We don't do anything fucked around here..."

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.... Almost all of them replied, ""How the hell did you get in here?"""

"What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees ( . ) ( . )"

"[2018] ALIEN: take me to ur leader ME: uh ok *takes him to president Donald Trump* ALIEN: lol good one but seriously where's ur real leader"

"""Hey boo."" -casual ghost"

"A dog walks into a bar ""I'll have one ... beer."" Bartender replies ""Why the pause?"" Dog says ""Because I was born with them, asshole."""