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Joke of the Day

"new iPhone 7 son: Daddy, buy me the new iPhone 7 Dad: What is the magic word? son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case?"

"Passed a sign that says, ""All you can eat, $30/person"" but I don't think I can eat $30 worth of people."

"how many calories are in a horse"

"ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I'm afraid of it ME: It's just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]"

"Jesus must've had a fortune if he paid for all my sins"

"The best thing about gay bars is that if someone turns their back to you it's not necessarily a bad thing"

"""Money isn't everything"" - Someone with a shitload of dough"

"Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages? There were many knights."

"Q: what do you call an orange Jew? A: Ivanka trump"

"Out of all of Santa's reindeer, the one that sounds most like a street name for crystal meth is all of them."