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Joke of the Day

"Out of all of Santa's reindeer, the one that sounds most like a street name for crystal meth is all of them."

"How do circumcision doctors get paid? In tips."

"Bruce Willis is at IKEA when a toilet plunger falls off a shelf and sticks to his head. he doesn't notice until the following day"

"I challenged Brock Lesnar to a fight.. But he ain't got the guts."

"I HATE stereo-types.. Samsung, Sony, Toshiba, doesn't matter. Can't stand 'em."

"I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night I hope it was the former, not the lather."

"Do you know who wants some good D? no, who? Football fans."

"What is the best kind of vegetable? The one in the wheelchair."

"[wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] ""why isn't he wearing a shirt"" we believe he removed it when he challenged the coyote"

"Stopped the microwave at 0:01 AND stopped the gas pump at an even $50.00! *Adds Bomb Squad Specialist to resume."