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Joke of the Day

"Passed a sign that says, ""All you can eat, $30/person"" but I don't think I can eat $30 worth of people."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your dick in a girl's ass."

"A German woman was walking down a dark alley when she got accosted by eleven men... ...who tear her clothes apart and start to rape and molest her. The woman shouts 'Nien! Nien!', so two of them left."

"What do you call Neil deGrasse Tyson pouring champagne all over his naked chest? An astro-fizzy-tits"

"Mastercard Chinese Resturant Commercial General Tso's Chicken........ $11.50 Coca-Cola........ $1.99 Take out guy forgets container........ Riceless"

"What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth? RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!"

"Bae: Come over. Romeo: Can't. You're a Capulet, I'm a Montague. Bae: Deny thy father and refuse thy name; come over. Romeo: Also, you're 13."

"What do you call the son of a Mexican and an Israeli? Jewnor."

"Dictator Vegetable Who was the Dictator Vegetable who was responsible for the death of millions of people? Muammar Gourd-affi."

"What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died? Mourning wood."