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Joke of the Day

"Why did the whale cross the road ? To get to the other tide !"

"I always keep a windchime next to the bed so I can brush my fingers across it as my lover climaxes"

"Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software."

"I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to ""it's complicated""."

"Why does my computer say Hello? Because it's a Dell."

"NYC parks department on naked Trump statue: ""NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small."""

"2 fish in a tank One turns to the other and says ""you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What is the difference... What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three hoes."

"What Did The Pirate Say On His 80th Birthday? Ayyyye Matey!!!"

"Bet you didn't notice the the word the' has been said twice. "