31212

Joke of the Day

"Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software."

"Immigrants after Trump's election be like... [removed]"

"My wife and I decided to have kids... ...for lunch. Fried children are yummy."

"I'm straight, but I'm not ""wouldn't spoon with George Clooney"" straight."

"why didn't the clothing drive at the homeless shelter not work out? ..nobody gave a shirt."

"Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks."

"French scientists announced that they can finally successfully clone a rat! Thank goodness! This will solve the huge rat shortage."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? (Gagging on big cock noise)"

"Make fun of my footy pajamas if you must, but all you naked sleepers are gonna be up shit creek if your house catches on fire in the night."

"Stop asking me to vote for your kid in contests. I'm too nice of a person to tell you I'm surprised you got laid in the first place."