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Joke of the Day

"I used to think ""I hope I don't do anything stupid."" Now it's more like ""I hope whatever stupid shit I do at least fits in a tweet."""

"I hate racism and black people."

"""I have a cure for your burning bush."" Moses hitting on the ladies"

"A guy goes to the Olympics and sees a man carrying a long pole. The guy asks - Are you a pole vaulter? The man replies - No I'm German - how did you know my name is Walter?"

"Bono and a Lightbulb How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world."

"Get two dogs and name them 'one' and 'two'. Because if one runs away, you'll still have two."

"A dyslexic person walks into a bar I on the other hand am not dyslexic and am not one to frequent drinking holes. Also I suck at jokes."

"What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies."

"How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh? Tentickles."

"What do you call a hard working machine? Juan Deer"