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Joke of the Day

"A dyslexic person walks into a bar I on the other hand am not dyslexic and am not one to frequent drinking holes. Also I suck at jokes."

"My sister bet me 200 dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti... You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!"

"What Operating System does a Redditor use? Fedora Linux!"

"A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend knows the password to your phone so they can delete all your nude selfies if you die"

"Why don't you .... A husband asks his wife after sex ""Honey why don't you ever tell me when you are having an orgasm?"" She replies ""Well I would Dear but you are never home."""

"I've not smoked weed in two year, during that time I've completed sooooo much ...................... drunk"

"I think I just had my first orgasm? I was shaking and my legs were shaking and everything. Then I just realized that wasn't a orgasm, ""THAT WAS A EARTHQUAKE!"" :'("

"If someone won't lift a finger to call you, see you or spend time with you then it's time for you to lift five fingers and wave goodbye."

"So a work colleague told me that Prince died and they found his body in a lift. Well, he was obviously coming down with something."

"Which punchline do you like better? What do you call a nun that sleep-walks? a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit"