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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school? Ferrous Bueller's Day Off"

"i'm working on a porn filtering app that would show only vanilla porn... but I can't work out the kinks"

"Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? A: King Kong is more sensitive."

"My dog did this i was going outside for 5 minutes and I told my dog not to poop in the house. When I came back, he had pooped in the house."

"Yesterday it was so hot that my gun started overheating. It was sweating bullets."

"*cashier stares at obviously fake ID* you sure you're 3? *dog panics and runs out of the store barking*"

"I pointed to hub's hearing aid and said is that thing on? He said ""yes, I am just trying to figure out what the hell you are saying"""

"I had a big mix up at the store today. Apparently when the clerk said strip down facing me, she was referring to my credit card."

"Sometimes I think I should introduce myself to my neighbors just so they don't describe me to the police as ""Quiet and keeps to herself."""

"Not all women are good at multi-tasking I just saw one trying to talk on her phone, while flying through her car windscreen."